Disclaimer: I am a Christian. I don't know if you've read any of my blogs before reading this. If you have, hopefully you have worked this out. If you haven't read my blogs before and this fact offends you or makes you uncomfortable please feel free to either get over it or stop reading.
I said in my very first blog that I would later write about how I came to be here in Uganda doing what I'm doing. Well, later is now, so here goes.
As you may have worked out from the above disclaimer the why of what I am doing is all about what I believe. I don't know what your beliefs are about life and whether you've thought about it and made a conscious choice or not but everyone believes something and your beliefs determine the way you live. I chose quite a few years ago to believe in God. I grew up in a Christian family so this belief was not foreign to me but I did reject this belief for some time so can genuinely say that my beliefs are not just because I was brought up that way but because I hold them to be true with all my heart.
For me believing in God consumes my life and for the past 10 or so years has determined the choices I make. It goes beyond going to church on a Sunday and really believing what Easter and Christmas are about. I believe that there is no point to life without God. I came to this conclusion during the period I mentioned above where I rejected Him. I came to the point where nothing made sense unless God existed. I believe that there is sin, that sin is the stuff in my life that separates me from God and that it is part of the human condition. I believe that Jesus, God in human form, came and died for me so that I can have a relationship with God again because, without a sacrifice for my sin, I cannot stand in the same room as a holy God. I believe that there is eternal life. As in, we live forever and ever and ever. And I believe that we either live with God or away from God forever and ever and ever. I believe in the Holy Spirit, who lives with me, guides me, convicts me, comforts me, counsels me and helps me. I also believe that the Holy Spirit heals, speaks and is God's power working on earth today. I believe in a Love that knows no bounds. I believe that I have been rescued by God's kindness. And because of this love and kindness, I live with a freedom that I didn't know before I knew Him.
What does this have to do with me being in Uganda? Everything. One of the first experiences of God speaking to me when I became a Christian was about Africa. I knew that one day I would come here. I even told my church that I was going to be a missionary (although my beliefs about missionaries - little old ladies who were just a little odd - at the time had me backing away from this statement immediately after I said it). That was in January 2000. It took me a long time to get to the point where I am now here. For a long time I wasn't quite sure how the whole Africa thing would happen. I was notoriously bad at saving money and although I was always saving 'for Africa' it seemed as if there were always more pressing needs (like my rent, phone bill or a meal from Macca's).
In 2008 I finally made it to Uganda, Africa on a short term mission trip with a team from Australia HOPE International and loved it. The culture shock I felt when I got back home was at times overwhelming, for months I felt like I shouldn't be around people in case I slapped them! As well as being angry I was also struggling with the question of "now what"? After waiting so long to get to Africa, I hadn't put a lot of thought into what would happen after. God had told me I was going to Africa but did He just mean on a 4 week mission trip? And if I was meant to go for longer, what exactly did that look like? In 2010 I came back on a second trip with a different team but also with Australia HOPE International, this time to work out what God was saying about me and Africa/Uganda. During my trip I felt more and more like I could spend a lot of time here. I really liked what AHI was doing and the opportunity to somehow help them, while a little scary, was something that really excited me. However I left Uganda with still no real idea of coming back. I was thinking that any kind of long term stay would be somewhere in the future - maybe after I got married and had kids. None of which seemed to be happening anytime soon. On my way home, I stayed briefly (overnight) in Brussels and then for a couple of weeks with some friends from Victor (Victor Harbor, South Australia, Australia - my home town), who were now living in Redding, California, doing bible college. I had an awesome time hanging out, catching up and generally chilling. We went blackberry picking (possibly the most fun I have ever had) and swam in a lake. And in the middle of all this casualness, God told me to come home and resign from my job as a School Chaplain at my local High School and come back to Uganda. Just like that. And so, eight months later, here I am.
I guess there's probably a lot more that I could say. After all, I came back from the US with no money (and a debt) and didn't know how I was going to do it. But I guess one awesome thing about believing in God is that when He tells you to do something and you know that you have no way of doing it, it's all up to Him. And so far in all my adventures with Him, He has never let me down. You might think it's crazy moving half way round the world with no real plan (have you noticed the title of my blog? A year to indefinite) and only a vague idea of what is in store for you but for me, when I hear God say something, it would be crazy not to do it.
I have never felt so fulfilled and alive as when I am doing what God has asked me to do. And this latest adventure is out of this world (or at least out of the world I knew). While I am surrounded by circumstances that make me squirm and lives that fill me with anger and grief, I know that I am in the right place and that fills me with indescribable joy.
I don't know how I feel about sharing this over the net. If I was telling you face to face I would be able to see your reaction or if you walked away or hear if you started swearing at me. Here in the relative safety of cyber space I feel oddly vulnerable. If you would like to react to this in any way you can obviously either comment or feel free to email me at bron.claire@gmail.com
So hope you have a blessed week
Catch ya next time
bron
5 comments:
Hey Bron, just been reading ur blogs.....u are an inspiration.....sending you love and blessings.....If only we all had your courage! I certainly pray for it every day, and have been blessed by reading ur blogs xoxo Elly Parker xoxo
Loved reading your story.. Interested though in how God actually did get you there seeing as you couldn't do it yourself, as you said. I would love to read the details sometime :) Another comment : I started with your latest photos and you seem to think you're not much of a writer, but I want to encourage u to write more if it's just that and not busy-ness, as I think you have a lot to offer. Anyway thanks for sharing our story.. And God's!
Haha.. That was meant to be your story of course.. But we are all one Body! ;)
hey bev - thanks for your encouragement - just to let you know that i was not getting down on myself - just being realistic in that the quality of my words would have been somewhat diminished by the time of day i was trying to publish it - and on your other comment - i saw finance come from so many places especially those i wasn't expecting - god was so good to think of my every need as i travelled
Ah great .. Glad to hear back from you.. I know what you mean about writing late at night when tired!! Good to hear of God's faithfulness to you... He is beyond good, isn't He!!!?
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