To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life.
So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our own imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God molds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in an world preoccupied with control.
Excerpt from the essay, Waiting for God by Henry Nouwen in WATCH FOR THE LIGHT
It's been a while since I've been able to bring myself to write and finish my thoughts here. Oh I've started, but nothing has formed well enough to put out there. And to be brutally honest this is now an exercise in discipline rather than a desire to share. But whatever the motivation, here are my thoughts:
I went to a gathering the other day where we were looking at the above quote and it's making me ponder. On Tuesday I'm heading into the great blue beyond, winging my way back to Australia for the first time in eighteen months. And I wonder what changes I will find. I know the government has changed but what of my friends and family whose daily lives I know little of? What news have I missed out on? Being present to life here in Uganda means sacrificing being present in the lives of those whom I've grown up with, those whose lives have sharpened my own and those I love.
These words have struck me deeply. Because while on the surface my life can literally be summed up by open-ended waiting (a year to indefinite) there has to be intentional living to truly, fully live this way. And I'm not sure I always live intentionally in the moment. How often do I look ahead to something coming and focus on it so much that I miss what is happening now? Do I live fully present to the moment without being consumed by fear for the future rather than a real sense of hope?
As I ponder all this, I'm reminded again of God's great love and mercy that exist to draw me closer to Him. So this Christmas season I'm thankful for Emmanuel - God with Us, who calls me to live present with His presence and that I get to be present with some of my most favourite people in the world even if for the briefest of moments.
This photo in no way represents all of my most favourite people but is a fantastic sampling.
Blessings
bron
